I'm gonna miss ya!

It's always the same. It is so hard to traveling alone without my family. I am not talking about two or three days, but two to three months! This time I feel even harder because Elka and Farhan are grow up.

I delayed my departure date four times already. But the time is running out, and no more delay is possible! I have to go tonight.

Two months ago when I talked to Elka and Farhan about my fieldwork plan to Indonesia, they said "well, OK, you can go...". But two weeks ago they said "I want to go to Indonesia with you". This morning Elka said "Oh no..., can you stay one more day with us?". Farhan said sweetly, "can I go with you please?" Farhan even tried a little bit harder to make me stay. He warned me with stories about airplane crash and said that going by airplane is very very dangerous. Finally Farhan said, "OK, you can go, but you have to bring Turkish delights and skipping rope from Indonesia for me" :) Elka said OK and warned me to be very careful with earthquake and tsunami. Finally I went to the airport....

When we separate from our loves ones, we will more appreciate the time when we are together. I miss you guys.....!

Singapore, 27 July 2006

1st Day to School

Farhan was so happy at his first day at Moreland Primary School, February 2006.

Farhan was still happy although in his third week at school he broke his collarbone.

Akung and Uti

Akung & Uti with us at Melbourne city January 2006












Akung & Uti @ Yarra River Jan 2006

My Family

Melbourne, Dec 2005 Melbourne Museum, 2005

Neerav's Birthday

Story by Farhan, written by mum

Neerav and me played outside in his party. The party is new and I played with Neerav and I liked it. The party and I had fun. I ate chips and chicken nuggets at McDonald. We played pass to puzzle and this party is in McDonald. There are seven peoples and I got so fun. And I played with everyone in the birthday. And I liked Neerav's birthday.

School Uniforms: Symbol not Substance

I am very sad with several news particularly regarding schooling. Detik.com investigated and found that in Riau each student has to pay 1,5 million rupiah for new school uniforms. My Godness! That's in Riau and in government schools. Can you imagine how much those will be in Jakarta and other big cities, and in private schools?

What's uniform for? The concept of wearing school uniform is very good indeed so students will feel in the same stage with their fellows coming from different economic class. No glamorous and fancy clothes wore at schools. However, these school uniforms have functioned more than their main goal. Now it is the schools which want to have different kind of uniforms beside the national school uniforms. This happens from kindergardens! The majority of kindergarden has at least three kinds of school uniforms, t-shirts, sports, and batik.

Excuse me, what are those uniforms for? For students to be comfortable? For schools and teachers to be proud of? For social status? Why schools issued regulations that these school uniforms are a must? No school uniforms, no class. How could be? Do they forget that most of Indonesian family live close by the poverty line? Its ridiculuos. We spend a lot of energy to decide, design, tailor, sell, and put regulation of school uniforms only for social status! Oops, I almost forget, its for economic benefit of certain people, off course. So, parents have to work very hard only for social status of the schools and feed several people who tailored and sold the uniforms. Talking about economic benefit, this uniform case is almost the same with the school texbook policy, where printing companies, the authors, and few functionaries, through the system called "proyek" get most benefit. I will call this as an economic exploitation.

Our schooling system is misleading. It stresses symbols out of substance and learning process. We are very busy to deal with uniforms, performances, but forget that the most inportant thing is learning. No surprised several month ago a primary school student committed suicided because his school uniforms were wet in the morning he should wore it. Schools are too harsh on the uniform regulation. Students are educated with materialistic and symbolistic learning. Dilligence (going to school without absence) and neatness (including wearing uniforms) are parts of evaluation. This happens in a higher education too where there are regulations regarding clothes, shoes, hair, and head scraf.

I am afraid we give too much emphasis on symbol, most importantly religious symbols. Wearing hijab, jubah, peci, and other religious symbol will be regarded good people (off course some of them are). And each of us should have a religion and be good person or look like a good person. People concern too much with symbolic religiosity. Therefore some people use religion (religious symbols) for their own policial and economic benefits. These people selling religion for anything, such as members of parliament, and popular leaders. The problem is their 'selling' is salable. Why because we are educated by materialistic symbols not substance, I am afraid...

Retired? Congratulations!

I am very pleased to get a letter from an old friend who I consider as my guru, Prof. Issa Shivji. He invited me to attend his valedictory (retirement/farewell oration) gathering from his position as the Dean of the Faculty of Law, the University of Dar es Salam, Tanzania. Unfortunately I will not be able to attend due to long distance from where I stay now to Tanzania.

Valedictory is not that everyone loves to do that, I suppose, because retirement has become a frightening image. Yes, a post power syndrome. However, that is not the case of numerous intellectuals such as Issa. He is happy to face his retirement days. In fact, he arranges his farewell oration with the launching of his new book:

LET THE PEOPLE SPEAK
TANZANIA DOWN THE ROAD TO NEO-LIBERALISM

His son will read a poem at this farewell party too. I imagine this would be the great day for him.

Many emails from his colleagues express the happiness that he will retire. One of the emails that I really want to borrow says “I do wish to put on record our appreciation and debt to you for your immense intellectual contributions and for all you have taught us. I am confident that your retirement will be even more fruitful, and we look forward to continuing to benefit from your scholarly and other activities.”

I knew Issa from the project of “Philanthropy for social Justice in Muslim Societies”, funded by the Ford Foundation. I was in debt for his thoughtful, valuable, and wise comments and advice he wrote in the mailing list exchanges between members of the project. It was so difficult to manage a huge project that covers five countries in Africa, Asia, Europe, and Middle East. As a project director, I have to deal with different culture and intellectual background of numerous scholars and activists who I didn’t know before. Tiring debates, criticism were my everyday menu including only to decide the date of our global meetings. The most harsh discussion was about the philosophical and practical aims and theoretical frameworks of the project. I actually felt so small between those doctors, professors and activists, members of the project. One day I got a letter for a professor in India to consider his university to run that project in India. He said in his letter, “Dear Prof. Fauzia.” Oh my God! I haven't even started a Ph.D study yet.

What made me strong were the voices of these wise, excellent, and experienced academics that guided the project through difficult times and respected my existence. Voices? Yes, because the project was run mostly through emails and phones. I was really in debt to several members, Abdu (Abdullahi Ahmed An-Naim), Marwa el-Daly, Lyn Welchman, Suzanne E. Siskel, Emma Playfair, and Christopher Harris, and my colleagues at the Center for Language and Culture. I knew Issa via this global project. Although for several reasons Issa resigned few months after the Bali meeting, the members of the project were still respect him.

The global project was over by the International conference in Istanbul in November 2004. However the networks it had created are long lasting. I thank God that through this project I learned many things and now I have wonderful friends and gurus from many different countries. One of them is Issa. I am very proud of him.

Amelia

Conference Blue...

"When I am feelin' blue, all I have to do is a take a look at you..."
This song could not help me, this time. I feel like I have soo many things to do but I lost in space.

This is not because of my thesis writing as I feel that my adrenalin is still up since my last draft got many question marks from my supervisor. I like it! I think the best supervisor is that someone who criticizes your works and asks difficult questions.

This is not because of my children. In fact they are very well behave especially with my yes and no regulations.

Yes, its because of a conference. Actually this conference is not a big deal to me. Its not in my dreaming country to visit and not too big forum. It has quite general topic, not specifically relevant to my thesis. Sure, I like to attend and present my paper there because few things. First, I like to discuss my thesis with international reputation sociologists and historians, and other scholars of Asian studies there. Second, I believe that this forum has good intellectual atmosphere that will make my brain works hard to answer questions. Third, I want to see my friends. Last, its location and date are well fitted with my field work plan.

What make me blue is not that my abstract fails, but the uncertainty it made. I have been waiting for almost a month only to know whether my abstract succeeds or fails. Two weeks ago the convenor of the forum said that my abstract is shortlisted and I have wait another week. Hgh, its unprofessional. I imagine if I succeed I will say in the forum I am sorry I havent finished my paper.

It looks like this uncertainty cause no problem, but it is not, for sure. I have to wait its announcement so that I could have a certainty how much additional funds will I have for my field research including attendance in this forum. I have to delay my flight schedule. I have to delay to apply for getting travel insurance because it needs info how much funding I get from university. I havent started to write the 5,000 words paper in fact the forum date is three weeks to come. Fuih, this late announcement really made me blue.

Actually, I am not so interested to attend a conference anymore (maybe with exceptions of country I havent been there such as South Africa and Russia :)) Conferences are monotonous and boredom if I dont have friends there. I think I have enough links and networks so what I need now is a critical forum specific on my subject. Beside that I need a forum from which my paper will become a part of a book chapter, and a summer school where I can dig more historical resources important to my thesis or improve my thesis theoretical framework. Haha (laugh), apart from this conference blue I still have some dreams to catch up. Who knows? If we cant get to Jupiter, getting March has already become an amazing milestone.

Going Back for Good

..

These months many of our friends are going back to their countries for good. Farhan's best friend, Neerav, a Nepalese boy, is going back to Nepal. Neerav's mum has finished her studies at the University of Melbourne. Farhan was very exited to talk to and play with Neerav at Neerav's birthday party as well as his family farewel party. All the best for Neerav's family. Hopefully we could see you again, sometime, somewhere....

The most sad one is that Elkana and Farhan are losing their very best friends, Anugrah and Safira. Both are very cheerful and nice mates. Now, they are staying in Indonesia for a year until their mum finishes her fieldwork. They will go back to Melbourne again next year! We are waiting for you guys to be our special neighbour.. :)

We have been waching people come and go. Sooner or later, our time will come too that we have to leave Melbourne and go back to our country, Indonesia. Time goes very fast. An Arab's proverb says "al-waqt ka al-sayf", the time is like a saber, if you are not careful use it, you are cut by its blade.

the pizza

by farhan

i put tomatto and i put sausages and
. i put cheese and i put pineapple and
i put the pizza in the oven.

M.r. jack

by Elkana


M.r. jack was buy his new robot. He makes the robot new then he make a car then he say I make lot fo thing. M.r. jack is good because he is a maker he allways makes a thing.

THE pizza

by Elkana
When i make the pizza i put the tomatto first . Then i put the pineapple. then my mum cut the sausage. i put the cheese then my mum puts the sausage. then me and my mum put the pizza in the oven for 20 minutes. Then my mum open the oven then we eat the pizza.

Better Than Thou

A quote today: Holier Than Thou

"A distinguished Turkish gentleman said to me recently, 'I have no problem with beards or veils or religious symbols. The most important thing for me is to worship God with my heart and soul.' If we weren't so busy judging others we might have the time and inclination to do just that." (Lubna Hussain, Holier Than Thou. Ms Hussain is a Saudi writer based in Riyadh.)

There is no problem in criticism. But some peoples are judging others to say that they are better from others, overlooking and covering their own foibles. Then few of them usually will velify anything coming from others without having solution. Thanks God they are only few, I hope :)

Amelia

Write Blogs and Play XBoxs

Video games are crazy. This industry 'teach' children to understand mostly the very bad of our world: violence and wars. Most of the games are full of violence, some of them from success movies such as starwars.

However, our struggle to avoid xbox -- one kind of video games-- from Elkana and Farhan, failed. Xboxs, play stations, and nintendos are anywhere in our neighbors' houses, in after school care centres, in holiday programs, in school children talks, in TVs, movies, and supermarkets.

Fuih, yes. We have one. But now, I have many good reasons to keep it. Among others are learning about disciplines, learning to read (the instructions), time values, money values, and the most important one is encouraging Elka and Farhan to write. "No eat no play" and "no write/read no play" have become their customs. Writing becomes so enjoying for them as they know the reward they will get: an hour playing xbox. Now they are enjoying to write in blogs too because they see their works on the internet. That's why this blog have few short stories of Elka and Farhan, and Ardhiya (Elka and Farhan's friend), who came to play xbox at home. Yes, the rule "no write no xbox" is for everyone including guests!

Xboxs and blogs make my life easier.

Star Wars: THE FINAL DUEL by Ardhia

In a galaxy far far away, on the paths of the crumbling planet of Sarateena. There stood two men, one by the name of Leam Oak-a Jedi Sentigular- who wishes to be the savior of the entire galaxy but the other... Darth Axlon-a Dark Sith Lord-wishes to conquer the entire galaxy, in other words-wishes to be the conqueror.

The duel had started and both men ready their lightsabers and leaped on to one another. They fought in mid-air for a short while and landed on the ground. Leam threw a boulder at Axlon but it missed, Axlon payed back by throwing two giant boulders but it also missed. Now that they know that throwing boulders is useless they fought again with their lightsabers.

The final moment had come, both men unleashed their most powerful Force Power to decide the end of the duel. Leam or Axlon, saviour or conqueror. To be continued...

starwars

by Elkana

In the galaxy there is planets armies and building and lots of machines. In republic and cis they have wars but they dot stop wars and they get armies because they make more armies. But they never stop makeing things they make nus and they make so many robots but they nevar be tems. they are not fres and they make leaders and they make weapons and lot of things to make. the republic have 75683 armies and cis have 61129 but the cis will make more that is 50.

Whitty is from farhan

by Farhan
when i go to someone house i got a rabbit and i went home and i playd computer and i had haue a rabbit. but i forgot my rabbit i cant find my rabbit on time. i look and look and look and i find my rabbit. tomorrow will be holiday and i had breakfast with rabbit and i sleep with whitty .

Cats cats and moro cats

by Elkana

One day in the house their is joe and dad and mum and me and cats but the cats are going to the city. their peoples and buildings the cat when to the petshop and he saw lotsof cats. Then the cat open the cage then the cats run outside. then the cats follow the cat he went to home then the cats help the cat to open the door. Then moro cats then moro cats came to help the cats. when the door opens joe saw somany cats. then me and joe give the cats food.

Super Mummy

Akhir-akhir ini kami suka menonton acara "Super Nanny" di televisi. Dalam acara ini, seorang nanny yang sangat cerdas diminta bantuannya untuk menolong sebuah keluarga yaitu 'merubah' perilaku anak nakal dan sulit diatur. Super Nanny tinggal bersama keluarga tersebut untuk menganalisa apa yang salah. Kemudian ia membuat aturan dimana orang tua dan anak harus melakukan hal-hal yang dimintanya dalam rangka perbaikan. Dalam satu-dua minggu keluarga bisa berubah menjadi harmonis dengan anak-anak yang baik.

Tayangan super nanny yang lalu, mengenai sebuah keluarga single parent, yaitu seorang ibu dengan tiga anak perempuan yang cantik berumur kira-kira enam, empat dan tiga tahun. Rumah keluarga ini bersebelahan dengan rumah kakek-neneknya yang senantiasa membantu si ibu muda ini menjaga anak-anaknya. Diperlihatkan banyak cuplikan perilaku ketiga anak tersebut: dari yang sekedar membuat ibunya sibuk, seperti menumpahkan makanan dengan sengaja dan melempar kursi termasuk ke tamu; membuat marah, seperti meludah ke ibu dan kakeknya; membuat malu, seperti berteriak-teriak dengan kata-kata kotor; sampai yang membahayakan, seperti lari ke jalan besar yang ramai. Tidak lupa juga diperlihatkan cuplikan bagaimana si ibu berteriak-teriak marah, mengucapkan kata-kata tidak pantas, berperilaku kasar ke anak-anaknya, dan selalu meminta bantuan sang kakek dan nenek.

Satu pesan yang jelas terlihat dari apa yang dilakukan super nanny adalah bahwa perilaku anak itu sebenarnya berasal dari orang tua mereka sendiri. Anak meniru apa yang mereka lihat dan dengar setiap hari, dan bagaimana mereka diperlakukan. Padahal sebenarnya anak-anak itu mencari perhatian ibunya yang mereka anggap tidak sayang kepada mereka.

Karenanya, treatment super nanny biasanya adalah, pertama, membuat komunikasi yang baik antar orang tua dan anak. Saling mendengarkan dan memberi feedback, dan orang tua harus selalu menjelaskan alasan atas tindakan yang dilakukannya. Lebih banyak meluangkan waktu untuk melakukan aktivitas bersama. Kedua membuat aturan yang jelas dengan reward and punishment-nya. Ketiga, merubah sikap orang tua itu sendiri yang menimbulkan kesan buruk dan ditiru oleh anaknya.

Waktu nonton, saya dan Amir sering tanya ke Elka dan Farhan pendapat mereka. Syukurnya mereka selalu bilang itu perilaku anak dan ibu yang tidak baik. Kadang kami saling mengingatkan siapa yang bandel akan ditaro di naughty corner seperti yang dilakukan super nanny. Jadi sekarang kalau mengingatkan Elka dan Farhan saya sering menggunakan gaya super nanny: memberi peringatan pertama dan menjelaskan kenapa misalnya tidak boleh teasing, memberi peringatan kedua dengan ancaman tidak akan dibelikan mainan. Dan, tidak perlu ancaman ketiga, super mummy berhasil...

Memang, super nanny bukan inspirasi pertama kami. Sebagian besar inspirasi memperlakukan Elka dan Farhan berasal dari mengamati tingkah laku para pendidik di sekolah dasar, TK dan childcare, berikut program mereka. Sebelum tahu acara super nanny, dinding ruang keluarga kami juga sudah dipenuhi dengan (1) hasil karya Elka dan Farhan, (2) beberapa perjanjian yang menyangkut game, beli mainan, dan hadiah coin untuk ditabung, dan (3) indikator stars (apresiasi atas good works) yang dilakukan oleh Elka, Farhan, mum and dad. Tentu saja, Elka dan Farhan-lah yang bintangnya paling banyak... :)

Asik juga nonton super nanny ini. Selain dapat hiburan, kami juga dapat banyak pelajaran yang sering kali mengingatkan perilaku masing-masing.

Ayo Bangkit Jogja!

by Amelia

Sedih? sudah pasti.
Bagaimana tidak sedih kalau ada anggota keluarga mereka yang meninggal atau luka parah akibat tertimpa bangunan ketika gempa terjadi (Sabtu, 27 Mei 2006)? Bagaimana tidak sedih kalau rumah mereka rata dengan tanah dan mereka harus tinggal di tenda-tenda darurat (yang benar-benar darurat!). Bagaimana tidak nelangsa kalau untuk mencari makanan dan air minum saja sulitnya setengah mati? Bagaimana tidak nelangsa kalau saudara dan famili mereka yang sakit tidak mendapat penanganan serius karena keterbatasan obat-obatan dan fasilitas? Mereka menjadi pengungsi di kampung sendiri!

Memang ada yang saking kepepetnya sampai mencegat mobil-mobil bantuan dan meminta-minta dipinggir jalan, sampai ada yang bunuh diri karena tidak kuat menanggung derita. Tapi sebagian besar para korban gempa ini punya mental yang baja karena sadar bahwa kehidupan harus terus berjalan.

Mental baja itu terlihat pada anak-anak SD di Widoro Chandran, kecamatan Sewon, Bantul, seperti yang terlihat difoto hasil jepretan wartawan The Jakarta Post. (Detail berita lihat: http://www.thejakartapost.com/detailheadlines.asp?fileid=20060606.@02&irec=2)
Mereka tetap berusaha untuk menempuh ujian akhir di halaman sekolah mereka yang tinggal puing-puing. Mereka berusaha melupakan trauma dan kesedihan.

Mereka benar. For their own future, life must go on!
Bangkit Jogja!